Why Spiritual Awakening Creates Inner Conflict

If we start with the question why do people turn to spirituality, the answer is that we usually experience pain in one or many areas of our lives. We are looking for answers because it feels like the reality we are familiar with does not give us any solutions to those challenges.

So the question becomes: what does spirituality do for our consciousness, and eventually for our emotional and physical body?

Spirituality leads to transformation. It changes who we are as a person. It changes our behavior, our view of the world, and our relationships. It also expands our consciousness.

But how does this expansion of consciousness happen?

First, it happens when we witness something within ourselves that we want to transform.

Second, it happens when we begin to understand a higher truth about the subject we are observing inside ourselves, about the area of life where we may have limiting beliefs.

And third, expansion happens when we start embracing new concepts. We expand from our initial perspective about a challenging situation and begin to apply new understandings and new perspectives that come with spiritual development.

However, there is something that many people do not realize and often miss in their healing journey.

When this process occurs in our psyche, we become a witness to two almost opposite personalities within ourselves.

One of them is the old self — the system of limiting beliefs about the subject or the challenging situation in life.

The second is the expanded or enlightened self — the part that understands deeper truths and has developed later in our life.

These two parts inevitably come into conflict with each other. The first one — the scared part — does not trust the new one because it has never seen proof of these new beliefs in life. And sometimes the second part might not even be aware of the existence of the first one.

This is where we witness a split in consciousness.

In psychology and trauma work, this is often called fragmentation — when two opposing forces that have different belief systems, different perspectives of reality, and different plans of action live in the same physical body.

Most of us have many of these fragmented parts. The more of them we have, the more areas of our life become affected. It becomes harder to realign ourselves internally.

When we begin to integrate these parts and bring them into a win-win relationship, we start experiencing internal balance and peace. And our external reality begins to reflect that internal coherence.

Coming back to these two parts that appear during the expansion of consciousness — the crucial thing that many people overlook is the importance of creating coherence between the old belief system and the new belief system.

This process is known as parts work.

Parts work is almost like establishing a relationship between parts of yourself that previously didn’t know each other or even rejected each other. It creates a flow of energy between them, an exchange of information, and a sense of belonging. It allows these parts to stop feeling alone.

If we look at trauma, fragmentation is often the result of traumatic experiences. During trauma, a part of our psyche is created that carries the unresolved emotions and unmet needs from that moment.

If, during a traumatic experience, the natural cycle of energy release, emotional expression, and restoration of safety does not happen, the psyche splits to protect itself.

One of the core beliefs created in that moment is often “I am alone.”

And in one sense, this belief was true — because during that distressing moment there was no resolution and no support. In fact, trauma is often defined as distress without resolution.

But when we grow into adulthood, this belief of being alone often gets projected onto the whole world. We begin to believe that we are alone in our struggles, alone in our challenges, and that no one will help us.

We may start believing that nobody will collaborate with us, nobody will support us, and that we are not good enough to deserve recognition or care.

So why am I speaking about all of this?

Because real spirituality is not only about creating a new belief system based on higher knowledge or expanded perspectives.

Real spirituality is also about accommodating and compassionately integrating the limiting beliefs that were created through trauma.

It is about caring for the part that believes it is alone.

The part that believes it is not safe to relax.

The part that believes money will not come easily if we allow ourselves to enjoy life.

The part that is still afraid.

Real spirituality is about integration.

It is not about demonizing parts of ourselves that seem “incorrect” according to our new spiritual understanding or universal laws.

It is about bringing unity inside the mind, so that unity can also be reflected in our external reality.