What does Being in Flow/in Alignment mean?

People are not afraid of power. People are not afraid to be powerful. They are afraid of the consequences of decisions that truly feel in alignment with them — how those decisions will affect things around them, especially their relationships with other people.

It all comes, as you would probably guess from what I’m writing about, from our childhood.

We get into a state of disempowerment. We get into a state of pleasing people and choosing things that do not feel good for us, because we learn that this is a strategy to survive. We learn how to adapt to life through our very first relationships — the relationships we have with our caregivers. They teach us about the universe and about life itself through their relationship with us. This is where we understand how life works.

And depending on your upbringing — if you, of course, didn’t do the work — you will think that the way you were taught to behave in childhood is the only way you can behave to ensure your survival and existence.

These patterns, these behavioral strategies, are so deep that we are not even aware of them. We don’t consciously perceive these beliefs being activated in the moment when we actually need to act from a state of empowerment and choose something that feels good for us — something that doesn’t compromise what we need in this period of our life.

And we are afraid to offend another person and face the consequences of being seen as a bad person or being rejected.

Where did you learn that acting in your best interest equals being rejected or being a bad person? Where does this belief come from?

If I am bad, I am rejected.
If I don’t do what other people want me to do, I am not good enough.

And if you are not good enough as a child, you are not loved. And then you are not good enough as an adult for the partner you want, so you compromise on your desires and what you actually want. You agree to less than what you want. You compromise on the lifestyle you want and think, “I don’t really deserve that. Why would I even think that this is in alignment with me? I’m thinking of myself too much. Who the fuck am I to live a life like that?”

And why do we do that?

Because we feel numb. We get into certain patterns of behavior, and they become our automatic reactions — not only because we have subconscious beliefs and a perceived threat to our survival if we act against them, but also because we have feelings in the body that come with them. These feelings signal unsafety to our entire system, so we run the pattern.

We don’t choose ourselves. We choose other people — what other people need and want — so we are not seen as bad and we don’t get rejected.

But do you know that life is about how you feel about your life, your relationships, what you choose, what you consciously choose for yourself? From what place are you acting?

You can share the same physical space with someone who has good self-esteem, and they will have a completely different perception of where they live, how their life is, and what their relationships are like. Even though you are sharing the same physical reality, you are living in separate realities, based on your state of self-worth and self-love.

That’s why we don’t match with partners who are in a state of wholeness. We match with narcissistic and codependent, abusive relationships. That’s why we don’t match with jobs that pay us for our skills, and instead match with bosses who exploit us and make us feel like slaves.

That’s why we don’t allow ourselves to dream big. We don’t believe that the things we truly want with our heart are possible. The heart has been hurt so many times — through fear of abandonment, rejection, not being good enough, being a bad person — that it had to build walls. The behavior that protects the heart usually does not come from a state of empowerment. It comes from a state of “I am too weak, not powerful enough to take this decision.”

The protection mechanisms and beliefs we build around our hearts are always about us being less than we are. They come from a poor self-image, which is also a result of childhood conditioning.

So what is the state of alignment? What is the state of flow?

Everyone talks about alignment — all the spiritual gurus — but nobody actually explains what it is.

The state of alignment is knowing, 100%, in every situation or at least in the majority of them, that your decision is in full harmony with your internal state. Most parts of you — the parts that make up your psyche — are on the same side. It feels like you are making a decision from a space of peace, not from fragmentation.

To be in alignment means to be internally aligned. When that happens, alignment comes externally. Better invitations come. Higher-consciousness people come. Better opportunities come. Higher-paying jobs come.

The state of empowerment, alignment, and flow comes when you truly feel that you can have what you want — and you do not settle for less.

And it starts with small steps.

On a daily basis, you begin to notice yourself compromising. You see yourself saying yes when you wanted to say no. And step by step, you start making decisions that feel good and empowered for you.

Small steps become big ones. And then more expansion follows.

This is how you heal your internal state of unworthiness.
This is how you get into flow.

Not by disconnecting.
Not by creating figurines of light in your third eye.

But by connecting to yourself.
To your body.
To your emotions.

This is how you become empowered.