Healing Mother Wound

I’ve done years of inner work. When I was 29 and I was married, I lived in Washington DC and I was very unhappy. And one day I just realized that I had turned into my own mother in my own relationships, the way she was relating with my father. And that was one of the seeds that sparked my desire to change my life.

A couple of months later, I was on my way to Guatemala for the first time, being out of the country in seven years, with only one backpack. I was on my way to a journey of finding who I was, because I realized I experienced an immense enmeshment trauma, where the parent unconsciously suppresses all the differences in the child that made the child unique in his or her own way, and different from the parent. So it’s almost like a parent molds a child into their own copy. And by definition, by the rules of being a social species and by the rules of our mind, the child has no other way than to conform.

So I was 30 years old, not knowing who I was, what I wanted, what I enjoyed, what my dreams were, what I was able to achieve and accomplish. And the realization of the damage that I received as a child made my journey of healing be about a lot of different topics. And one of them, the most difficult one, is to find forgiveness for my own mother.

Four years have passed, and once I eventually started to talk to her on the phone, I thought I was over it, because I made sense of her behavior in my head, and I did feel compassion for her. But as we know, healing journeys in general, they go in layers.

And here I am, in 2025, on December 12th, finding myself in a ceremony where my body tenses so much, while there is a part of me that wants to express herself so deeply. And during the ceremony, I shared a story of how I have been interpreting and understanding why I have such a hard time being expressive and really feeling comfortable singing and dancing in front of other people. And that story has a lot to do with my mother, with her attitude toward my expression. Because one day she had to forget about her own career in music and become a mother very early in life.

So that was the beginning of this interesting synchronistical journey that I am sharing with you today. On the 12-12 portal, that was my confession to Grandfather Fire about something that I wish to transform.

On 12-13, I felt like shit. I felt so much fear. I felt so much hopelessness in my body. So much fear that I’m not going to make it. So many of the feelings that I used to feel as a child, being trapped and having no means, no ability to break away from the environment that I at the same time considered normal.

Yesterday was a good day. And today, during energy work, I realized that I had disconnected from my pleasure. And as I heard the words "you probably are very angry at this thing, sensuality," I realized that I am angry at my mother. Because so many years of her own conditioning were passed on to my mind and to my body in order to disconnect me from my sensuality and sexuality.

And during that moment, what I thought was, wow, I cannot believe my mom had so many abortions. And the voice sounded so judgmental in my head. But then I realized that this is exactly why I cannot forgive her—because I am judging her for all the experiences that she has lived unconsciously. And I just cannot see a human in her that has made so many mistakes. And I had an abortion too. So why am I judging my mother? I am judging myself.

And I started to breathe and repeat a prayer: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And the tears just started rolling down my face. Because underneath there is so much pain, so much fear, so much inability to hold more in life, and so much craving for love. Giving yourself fully, unconsciously, without thinking about consequences—that must be such a painful state of being.

If we still feel guilt toward ourselves, if we still feel anger and blame toward our own mothers, then we are definitely holding tension, pain, and an inability to connect to the womb, to sensuality, and to pleasure. It’s all connected.

This is why I want to invite women into one-on-one WOMB CONNECTION sessions, focused on mother forgiveness and held within a yoni steaming ceremony—to cleanse the womb and allow it to empty itself of the pain that it has been gathering for many, many years.

If you need more details, please feel free to message me on WhatsApp or email me—you can find my contact information on my website.

Because you deserve pleasure.

You deserve to be a woman.

And you deserve to be a mother.

To learn more about what will happen during the practice, click here