Children are always an expansion of their families.

So by default, a child is going to have different beliefs, different behaviors, and different perspectives that challenge the parents’ status quo. And that will trigger the parents. That is not a mistake — that is the point. The child is here to make the parent look at themselves and expand in the areas of life where they get triggered.

It’s not about suppressing the child and preventing the expansion of the family. It’s about expanding yourself so your child can be who he or she is here to become — and supporting that becoming as a parent. That’s literally all you need to do.

If your child causes you pain, it’s not because the child is bad. It’s because you have limiting beliefs about yourself somewhere, and your child is here to freaking break them and expand you. Otherwise, how do you think people who revolutionized our world were born? How did Martin Luther King become who he was? Because his mother told him what he can say and what he cannot say? That doesn’t make sense.

Trying to mold your child into your own character prevents the expansion of the entire universe — because we are expanding through the human mind. And if you are not allowing your child to be true to themselves, to speak what they think, to challenge your beliefs and expand your consciousness, you are preventing not only your own expansion, but the expansion of humanity.

That’s why we are stuck in this shithole of modern society, where everybody is enslaved. Freedom of speech is already suppressed when we are children.

So before reacting to your child next time — before screaming at them, calling them stupid, shaming them because they triggered you — look at yourself and ask: how is my belief about this true? Is it 100% true? Or is my child’s perspective just another perspective that can exist in the world and does not need to be suppressed?

Why am I so passionate about this topic? Because this has been my freaking journey in childhood — shaming and rejection for every different perspective I had compared to my own mother.

Do you know how much fear I experience now when I am sharing my perspective A or B and somebody doesn’t agree with me? My nervous system goes straight into survival freeze mode, because I’m about to experience shame and rejection for being different.

Do not forget that your child will project your behavior toward them onto every single person they meet in adulthood — especially in romantic relationships. If you suppress your son’s or daughter’s voice, don’t you think they are going to end up in relationships that are traumatic or abusive? Because they cannot speak for themselves. They cannot be authentic. They cannot defend themselves. They cannot complain. They cannot call the police on time when something bad is happening to them.

That has also been my experience.

This is all rooted in childhood — when we learn to suppress our voices to fit into our family.