Ways of Giving Love

I feel that everybody is unique. We are all born with our own abilities, gifts, and also with a unique way of giving love. Of course, we are conditioned by our families—our parents show us love in certain ways, and we attach meaning to those actions. But there is also a deeper layer: each individual has a kind of soul blueprint that shapes how they are here to contribute to humanity and how they express love, both to the people closest to them and to the world in general.

I believe I am someone who is naturally wired to give love through improvement—through noticing what is working and what isn’t, and guiding people in a direction that could improve their lives. This naturally includes pointing out what doesn’t work.

Being a child with this way of loving in a family that is very sensitive to feedback or constructive criticism—or that has low self-esteem—can be very challenging. In such an environment, any observation a child makes can trigger the parent’s own insecurities, lack of self-worth, or defensiveness. This puts the child in a difficult position, where their natural way of expressing love is judged, rejected, misunderstood, or projected onto.

So what happens when our natural way of being, relating, and giving love is not accepted by the most important people in our lives—our family? In order to stay connected to them, we don’t interpret their reactions as a lack of understanding on their side. Instead, as children, we make it mean something about us. Everything that happens around us becomes part of our identity.

So if my way of loving is repeatedly rejected or misunderstood, I may begin to believe that something is wrong with me. I might think: “My love is not accepted. I don’t know how to love. There is something wrong with the way I express care.” These beliefs then live in the subconscious and can stay with us throughout our lives.

Sometimes, they reveal themselves in subtle ways—like in dreams. For example, I had a dream where I gave my mom a present for her birthday, and she responded, “Just leave it, I’ll pick it up later.” In that moment, the love I was offering wasn’t received.

These kinds of beliefs don’t just influence how we see ourselves—they also shape the relationships we create. We may meet people who mirror this dynamic back to us. For example, I may meet men who interpret my guidance as criticism, as if I’m telling them they’re not good enough, rather than understanding that this is how I express care—through support, awareness, and a desire for growth in areas like health, emotions, or well-being.

So my love continues to be misinterpreted in the same way it was in childhood, because deep down I may still believe that the way I love is somehow wrong. In this way, the inner “mirror” becomes distorted.

That’s why I believe it’s so important to know yourself—to understand the meanings you attach to situations, and to become aware of what is happening beneath your conscious mind. To know yourself is to be in alignment with who you are, with your spirit, your path, and ultimately, with life itself.